"Fear breads a deadening caution, a holding back, a stagnant waiting until people no longer can recall what they are waiting for or saving themselves for. When we fear failure more than we love life; when we are dominated by thoughts of what we might have been rather than by thoughts of what we might become; when we are haunted by the disparity between our ideal self and our real self; when we are tormented by guilt, shame, remorse, and self-condemnation, we deny our faith in the God of love." Brennan Manning

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

No Appropriate Title

Well, 9Apr08 has arrived.  Things are spinning up in order to spin down, at least for us.  The trickle exchange of new for old is occurring as you read this.  Soon I'll be moving and you'll hear me bitching about the Romanians and Bulgarians on the internet and in the PX as I did about a year ago.  To the right is Goddard's comment about the Romanians stood for quite a while before I removed it.  As a reminder, "Those Romanians love them some internet!"  It's hard to believe (not really) that almost a year has passed since he said that and soon there after we parted ways, half our team north and half west.  Soon we'll be coming back together and heading home to our respective places to assimilate.  
The difference now is that the Fobbits of Kandahar won't be as irritating to me, Kuwait will have essence of a Mediterranean beach and Ft Riley will be a welcome site and the horrific Atlanta traffic will probably draw up a certain amount of peace for me instead of the road rage of old.  
When I see my wife, daughter, family and friends I won't look at them the same.  I can't.  I wasted so much time on the things that don't matter, wrapped up in the American Dream of consumption.  With the benefit of hind site and near death experiences, my picture is more balanced and my appreciation for my family, friends and life in general has taken a new level.  With God's (the real one) help I'll maintain this healthier, simpler view and carry on contributing to His grand scheme.
With all that soulful growth stuff in mind (I can't go down the emotional path too long without veering off), I look forward to coming home to my house, taking a walk and eating dinner with my family, sampling my way through Whole Foods with Mandy and Leah, visiting every brewery within traveling distance, vacations with all my family and friends, having my wife reign in my daily visits to Starbucks on the way to work and  going to the hospital, getting pages all day long and standing in the OR discussing the crap equipment while driving a Synthes nail (good plug, eh) into a femur.
These are just a few of my favorite things!

3 comments:

Lalla said...

Ah, da, be... What a difference a year makes! Welcome to the wonderful world of a new kind of maturity!!!! (At what cost! I may add) That's why downscaling is so freeing!! Want my table and chairs????? I love you, Son, and I'll have gallons of "homemade" Starbucks waiting for you.
Mom

ENLIGHTEN LIFEgroup said...

Didn't you write something similar when you became aware that our time as roommates was coming to an end?

David M said...

The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 04/09/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front lines.