"Fear breads a deadening caution, a holding back, a stagnant waiting until people no longer can recall what they are waiting for or saving themselves for. When we fear failure more than we love life; when we are dominated by thoughts of what we might have been rather than by thoughts of what we might become; when we are haunted by the disparity between our ideal self and our real self; when we are tormented by guilt, shame, remorse, and self-condemnation, we deny our faith in the God of love." Brennan Manning

Saturday, May 3, 2008

WOW

If you haven't read the previous comment by my buddy, click on it in the prior post comments and read about Habakkuk. Habakkuk was a favorite of my grandmother's when she was alive. The words in the book always spoke to her and for some reason it's one of those things I remember. Anyway, it's a good booster for anyone, despite your situation or lack there of. I will contend one thing though. The National Guard could actually make even God get up on the Sabbath to wonder what they're thinking!
Thanks Scotty.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Ecclesiastes

Let me preface this as this is an ironic joke. I don't want anyone thinking my normal level of PTSD has been elevated to an intolerable degree. Truthfully, my PTSD is from dealing with fairly incompetent leadership more than the few TICs I've been in while over here. Frankly, the Taliban are easier to deal with. You just shoot em and its over. Everyone sleeps well.
So, back to my little story. I get these "verse of the day" emails to balance the rather impure world I live in. It can't hurt to find a little balance you know! So, today's verse is Ecclesiastes 7:4. "A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time." The irony comes into play in that all we want to do is go home and be "fools" but we're here sweating the equivelent of an Umpa Lumpa off every hour or so wishing we could shoot ourselves just for the medivac home. Corrigan is sleeping in the bunk next to me. Mid morning he was lying in bed, sweatin g his Umpa off and rolled over and said "Doc, I've got one round left......set me free," or something to that effect.
It amazes me that our command has had a year to prepare for our departure and now, a year later, can't even tell us an approximation of when we're flying home. Baffling and more frustrating than anything we've endured all year long. HMM. Operation Enduring Freedom. Wonder if this is what they're talking about........
Anyway, forgive me my Lord if I only want to trade my wisdom for foolishness for a season or so. Forgive me if I don't read Solomon's teachings for a few years as well. They're pretty damn depressing.