1 Month

Yep, here it is.  Minus one month before I depart from this phenom that some call a country.  It's more of a conglomerate of peoples that live close to each other and do their best to disturb peace. Anyway, enough of that.  I've seen war movies about how hardened vets get close to the end of a tour and get all pent up with caution.  Well, that's so real with the caveat that you actually have to operate off the "day spas" in a less than hospitable environment.  The desert holds many secrets and a few of them I'd like to see stay put.  I find myself much less willing to go and do risky missions and more than that I don't want to leave the asphalt when moving from place to place. My father always taught me to "FLAP" (Finish Like A Pro) and I'd say of done my fair share of that this year but I find myself wanting to "FLOP" (F the Last OPerations).   

Back

I've arrived home again and slept well last night for the first time in 4 days.  The first thing I did was bust out some shorts and celebrate being away from the "Flag Pole."  It's absolutely insane how uptight Camp Phoenix is.  It has to be the salute capitol of the world.  Way too much brass up there.  You can't walk 5 feet without saluting to or back at someone.  God forbid you make a no cover, no salute policy like the NATO commands do.  Woops, don't want to set a bad example for the world.  Ahh, the US military, we are so wound up we can't allow people to relax and just do their job.  "Ah to be" as my mother would say.  Anyway, I'm back in the South, thank God, and actually in the real war zone.  Ironically it feels sooooo liberating!

Happy Easter

I've seen that alot of new stuff has come across the wire on the internet so I thought I'd update this to let everyone know that I'm fine.  I've been on the move alot lately and haven't had much I can talk about to report.  Right now I'm up enjoying some "down time" in Kabul.  Nothing I'm willing to admit to here except I'm ready to get away from all the brass and worthless uniform policies around this place!

Anyway, I truly hope that you all have had a happy Easter and remember why we celebrate it.  No matter what your faith is, unless you're Muslim, this place will make you appreciate how wonderful Jesus really is and how freeing it is to believe in him.  That's all I can say without busting my politically correct bubble!

Carry on!

Happy Easter

Check out the new side bar

My boredom with the Afghans and Taliban have drawn me closer to a new hobby.  Hunting of another sort, if you will.  Out with the old, in with the new!  Yep, for your entertainment I'm willing to sacrifice minutes a day in capturing Talimice.  They bait us with mines and IEDs so in turn, I'm bating in their mice with little bits of honey leading up to some provolone on a mouse trap.  It's working like a champ!  Anyway, the side bar will be named after Pinky and The Brain, the infamous Warner Bro characters.  

Did you say you wanted a picture or two?  Here's #4 hanging resting in the burn pit.  I have to keep it informal thus I may become attached to my victims.

Addendum:  Soon after the death of #4, #5 was captured and interrogated, found to be useless and "taken for a drive."  Note for interest.  Always drag one of your senior NCOs into your sick schemes.  As an officer, it's always best to have the plausible deniability effect to fall back on. Top #4, bottom #5

I got nothing boss!

The internet actually came up for a while today so I started to put some blog material up and actually published it for about 20 minutes or so.  After realizing that the press would probably hound my family and get me put in prison for stating pro American, pro Christian and anti Taliban sentiments, I deleted it.  Call me weak but truthfully my rant was founded on press releases from the BBC and local press.  I figured spilling my opinion of the Islamic culture (IN THIS COUNTRY) would get me in trouble by mindless liberals out to get the bad American soldier who tramples across the world doing Satan's work.  So, moving on to a more cheery note.......

One of my best friends, who will be kept nameless for his safety from those mindless people, had a daughter in the last few days.  Congratulations!  Welcome to the whooped dad club! Every penis in the world has just become a problem.

In other news.  We have to be fairly aggressive driving on the streets of our lovely, star bright albeit smelly and dusty city.  One of our gunners is quite verbal, to say the least, to traffic that may delay our movement from point A to point B.  There's nothing like, well....anything to stop you at point A.5 if you get my drift.  So, we get people out of our way.  This particular guy has numerous, exhilarating sayings that ooze of intelligence far beyond his rank (for real).  Phrases like..."Get off my **$& road!" and "It's my road until I'm done using it!" "Are you friggin blind, oops, sorry!"  "Get your ass (for real, a donkey) off my road!"  He has a special way about himself.  He's the guy that wrote the eulogy for the cigarette....get my drift.  Smart and sassy!

Well, today we had a genius driving in the middle of the road, coming toward us and this gunner is waving and shouting, the whole Rules of Engagement thing, and finally points his 50 down down at the guy and screeches out with a trailing up and question mark pitch "Are you trying to die?"  Come to find out the guy didn't want to see Allah today and politely left about 20 ft of tire markings on the road and probably some fecal matter on his seat.  I know this was one of those "had to be there and had to know the guy" moments but man it was funny.  The pitch of his voice was so comedic.  

OK!  My moment.  Moving on.

Bev thanks for the box.  It took less than a month to get here.  Mary Lou, slowly getting your stuffed animals out to little girls and sometimes Police when they don't intentionally try to get us killed.  That's a plus in my book.  They get a star or stuffed animal for playing nice.

Milk......It does a soldier good!

Hey!  I know what you're thinking.  "Wow, two posts in a week!"  But I have something impressive.  The Canadians have real milk!  Yep, after a recent patrol, in the vicinity of somewhere, we stopped by one of the Canadian FOBs and had dinner.  They had real, whole milk.  I dipped a fresh chocolate chip cookie into it and had one of those flashback moments with the streaming music playing in the background.  Then I thought "if the Canadians can get fresh milk, why the hell can't the US Army get it?"  Suddenly remembering that real milk is for Air Force personnel, I returned to my moment of splendor and enjoyed three glasses of milk, savoring every moment like a high ball of Crown Royal or a pint of Flying Dog.  

Thank you Canada, for your efforts in supplying the finer things to your troops I grant you "real country" status. Sorry for the South Park reference, it had to done.

Alive and Sticking

Haven't been able to log into blogger recently, sorry for the delay in updates.  First and foremost I need to thank Mary Lou, Greg and my wife for sending over some goodies.  Thanks so much.  You all are wonderful!

We're about to the 2 month marker for getting the heck out of here.  I must say I feel like a fly stuck to fly paper.  Sometimes its like groundhog day with all the repetition day in and out but now it's more like being tortured.  You can see the light, remember your home and ignite your senses but you can't get your legs off the damn sticky paper to get there.  It's interesting to observe the conversational shift.  The understood is being with family and just partaking in extreme, insane amounts of sex but here are some other thoughts.  "What do you want to eat when you get home?"  "Ooh, how about a real hamburger with real cheese.........and a beer" or even better "I can't wait to mow my lawn......and drink a beer."  "I can't wait to go to pick up groceries without putting on body armor and shooting warning shots at people........and then drink a beer."  "I can't wait to drive a car less than 15,000 pounds."  "I can't wait to take a shower and not be afraid to get the water in my mouth."  "I never want to see another water bottle again, anyone for tap?"  "I just want to see something on TV besides cricket and English football."  "What am I going to do without my 50 cal.? You think they'll let me take it to my desk job?  Gosh, I'm not sure I can go back there."  "Do you think I'll ever be able to drive down the right side of the street again?"

It may seem simple but when you've been here a year, that's what life's all about.