Let me preface this as this is an ironic joke. I don't want anyone thinking my normal level of PTSD has been elevated to an intolerable degree. Truthfully, my PTSD is from dealing with fairly incompetent leadership more than the few TICs I've been in while over here. Frankly, the Taliban are easier to deal with. You just shoot em and its over. Everyone sleeps well.
So, back to my little story. I get these "verse of the day" emails to balance the rather impure world I live in. It can't hurt to find a little balance you know! So, today's verse is Ecclesiastes 7:4. "A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time." The irony comes into play in that all we want to do is go home and be "fools" but we're here sweating the equivelent of an Umpa Lumpa off every hour or so wishing we could shoot ourselves just for the medivac home. Corrigan is sleeping in the bunk next to me. Mid morning he was lying in bed, sweatin g his Umpa off and rolled over and said "Doc, I've got one round left......set me free," or something to that effect.
It amazes me that our command has had a year to prepare for our departure and now, a year later, can't even tell us an approximation of when we're flying home. Baffling and more frustrating than anything we've endured all year long. HMM. Operation Enduring Freedom. Wonder if this is what they're talking about........
Anyway, forgive me my Lord if I only want to trade my wisdom for foolishness for a season or so. Forgive me if I don't read Solomon's teachings for a few years as well. They're pretty damn depressing.
"Fear breads a deadening caution, a holding back, a stagnant waiting until people no longer can recall what they are waiting for or saving themselves for. When we fear failure more than we love life; when we are dominated by thoughts of what we might have been rather than by thoughts of what we might become; when we are haunted by the disparity between our ideal self and our real self; when we are tormented by guilt, shame, remorse, and self-condemnation, we deny our faith in the God of love." Brennan Manning
3 comments:
The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 05/01/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front lines.
Gotcha and read you loud and clear. However, I must admit that your train of thought and pursuit of simple understanding does not fall far from mine. And yes, I know you were not soliciting such a response and I am certainly not trying to steal your flame, but I am going to share with you some realizations that I have experienced recently (and you are pretty much a captive audience and bored out of your mind so I know you will read this) Look at that little minor prophet that never got called up to the majors. Habakkuk. In Habakkuk 2:20 the LORD is responding to Habby's cries questioning the LORD concerning two things 1) Habby asked why Judah is allowed to continue in its wickedness. To which the LORD replies with the fact that they will not be allowed to do so. That HE is going to destroy them using Babylon (a much greater and more wicked people). End of story....right?? Uhmm nope, not satisfied with this response (still had questions) Ole'Habby asked the LORD why and how He could justify rewarding a more wicked people by allowing them victory over Judah (Question #2). To which the LORD responded with this (ch 2 v20)"But the LORD is in his holy temple;let all the earth be silent before him"
Cliff's notes version (aka Scott's take on it): "Just shut up and watch...I know everything and have a plan. It would not begin to even make sense to let you in on my plan sense you truly would not comprehend it as I am GOD, you are not". So this was when our friend Habby realized that God is sovereign. Things don't always and may never make sense to us. I mean, can man even conceptualize true sovereignty? Short answer....NO. Man is finite in his abilities to conceptualize anything (i.e., the brain has a finite number of connections between neurons <100million billion, hence the ability of man to process and store knowledge and understanding is grossly hindered and limited). So, all that to say this: Be patient and obedient. God has a plan and He is God.....we are not. Even if you are stuck in the middle of a forsaken country or southern state known for obesity rates and teenage pregnancy. Amazing how we can get the same lesson in polar opposite experiences. Hang in there buddy!
Are you home yet? You haven't blogged in a while. I hope that means that you are heading out of Kuwait towards home by now...
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